What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “lifestyle?” Here at Contradiction Queen I am redefining just what that means and encourage you to do the same. Most of us probably conjure up images of fancy houses and luxurious vacations or the more simple country life, but what if I told you lifestyle could be much more than that?

For me lifestyle isn’t about what we live, it’s how we live. That is, it’s the energy with which we engage life. It’s the perspective we bring to and gain from our experiences. It’s the feeling we create, both internally and externally, as we move through this world.

I began thinking about this when restructuring my blog. I was searching for a word to describe my work and categorize several of my posts (people love to ask what kind of blog I have and I never had a clear, descriptive answer) and kept coming back to the word “lifestyle.” It felt a little unsettling to put myself in that category considering the content expectations around lifestyle blogs. I mean, most don’t focus roughly 70% of their content in the consciousness arena (more if you really get down to it), if at all. So, I knew what I was talking about didn’t really fit the mold, but it felt right. That’s when I knew I wanted to start calling myself a lifestyle blogger and add a new perspective to the conversation.

While we all know I love my stuff (I am a Taurus after all), I also know I love it because it is an expression and extension of me. I don’t purchase things to be like anyone else or to make myself feel better on a down day. I create my spaces and wardrobe from a place of internal connection - divinity. So, I know the things aren’t the root of what make me feel good. It’s the way in which I live, and, by definition, that is lifestyle. It’s the lens I use to view the world, the way I interact with others, my problem solving and creation processes. Lifestyle is my commitment to choosing ease over struggle. It’s the awareness I bring to the table when making choices, from what to eat and drink to who I want to share time with. Lifestyle is so much deeper than the kind of car you choose to drive, the clothes you wear, or where you buy groceries. Yes, those things can be part of lifestyle and the experience of them feels amazing when they are born from a connected, intentional space. However, those behaviors can also feel really shitty when their existence comes from decisions made out of pain, fear, and unconsciousness.

So, I’m asking you to take some time to think about your relationship to your lifestyle. Are your soul desires part of that space? Do you notice if you are feeling anxious, depressed, or disconnected? Do you notice the times you feel at peace, content, and joyful? Are you living life with ease, making decisions that feel good? Do you have energy to get through your day? Are you sleeping well? Are you making love? Enjoying real, nutrient dense food? Awakened to your sensual side? Doing work you love? Experiencing passion? Connecting with family? Laughing? Do you have a gratitude practice? What’s your self care routine? How do you nurture yourself and others? This is all part of the lifestyle I’m talking about. This is what counts. This is where the external stuff is born. This is how you get the exact car you really want. This is how you draw in the partner you need to do your soul’s work. This is how you create a life that feels exciting and fulfilling, a perfect extension of you.. By living a lifestyle of intention and awareness.

So tell me, how do you get down with that? Here are the top three ways I teach others to create a loving, connected vibrant life.

Ask yourself, “Is this a surface level desire or a soul desire?” Surface level desires feel like something we just have to have in order to feel happy, complete, included, etc. Soul level desires feel like an extension of who we already are. There is no panting or work associated with producing them. We are not tied to a particular outcome. If you’re confused try taking a step back and noticing how you feel when you think about that car, house, or outfit you want. Do you think it will make someone else proud of you or accept you? Does it feel like a natural extension of you at your core? Also notice, this you, your soul, is not the you that others project upon you and expect you to be. This you, your soul is the one you have always been. The one that feels connected, expressive, joyful, vibrant, and electrifying. Connect with her. She will lead you to your deepest desires, the ones of the soul.
What is my intention? I ask myself this question A LOT (especially in parenting). It helps me navigate emotions and get to the root of what I really want to say or do. Living from a space of intention can be challenging because it asks us to truly engage with ourselves and others rather than simply coasting through life on autopilot. However, in my experience it has brought me deeper experiences, more connected relationships, and a whole lot of life experience I can say I’m proud of. Living with intention doesn’t mean we’re always going to get it right, but it does mean our hearts are always in the right place and I’ve found that goes a long way in this thing called life.
What feels good? Much like surface level versus soul level desires, I’m asking this question in the deeper quantum rather than the superficial level. When tempted to make a superficial decision, go deeper. This will lead you to the life of your dreams, literally. We can live from a place of pleasure and be highly functional, kind, loving, connected people. I actually believe this is the only way to fully show up in the world and bring our best self to the table. Ask yourself what feels good and do it! No apologies or explanations needed. You are meant to bring your most authentic, connected, exploratory, beautiful self to this world and that should feel amazing! If you are feeling anything less than that I challenge you to dive in and ask what’s causing the disconnect. If you need help, reach out to me or another professional that can help you untangle the web of “shouldn’ts.” It’s up to us to make life beautiful!

I could go on for days about how to create the life of your dreams, but I really wanted to give you some question to get you started. Use these to open up some internal dialogue and then, perhaps even conversations with friends and loved ones. If you’re ready to more consciously shape your life, this is a great place to begin. If you want to go deeper, contact me. I’d love to support you on your journey.

Big love and lots of magic! XOXO ~Amanda