The Pleasure Principle
I often hear people say I look so young or seem so happy. Well, today I’m sharing my secret for both.. PLEASURE! It may seem simple, but learning to live life from a state of guilt-free pleasure has taken awareness and time. However, once I started I didn’t want to stop! And, while maybe you have some learned fear around doing what feels good, I’m here to tell you that you can live from a place of pleasure and trust yourself to do so. There is no reason to fear doing what feels good, because there is a natural stop built into that plan. Too much of anything will likely leave us feeling.. let’s just say “not so good.” So, if we’re paying attention, and if our goal is to feel good, we will, over time, create our own boundaries in order to do just that. No outside dictator required!
So, what exactly got me started on this path? I’ll never forget! It was my first homework assignment from my mentor; she challenged me to go get my nails done. This may sound simple, but I had spent an hour talking to her about how I had no time or money for myself. I went on to say that all I really wanted was to get my nails done. It would give me an hour to focus on myself and was a little something to make me feel just a wee bit sexier. Little known fact, I absolutely love a manicure. So, at the end of that appointment she said, “I’m going to give you a little homework assignment. Go get your nails done before you see me again (which was in a week or so).” Yikes! She wanted me to actually do something about all my complaining and it was going to cost me real dollars, meaning (in my mind) I would be taking money from my son to do something un-necessary for myself.
This may not sound like such a big deal, but Kevin and I had separated and since our divorce wasn’t finalized I had no guarantee of child support. I was “stuck” with all the expenses of our big house. I was taking care of Jagger, mostly on my own. I had a lot of expenses! And, the uncertainty of everything made me want to save every dime rather than spend on something I could do myself at home. Still, I had great trust in my mentor and could somehow see the bigger picture through the haze of my own fear, so I accepted the challenge. I went home, looked at my funds, saw I’d have to shuffle some things around to make it work and, determined, did it anyway. See, it was about more than a manicure. It was about my ability to start prioritizing pleasure as a way of life. Without it, life was becoming a not so enjoyable endeavor.
After that manicure a lot changed. I began allowing myself more moments of pleasure throughout my days and even started prioritizing joy in my budget. Months later I made a decision to let that big house go.. the one I “thought” I should be raising my son in, even though it was dragging me down (financially and energetically). That one small decision to accept my mentor’s challenge to get a manicure started a whole new way of life for me. It gave me an entirely new perspective and prompted me to start thinking in terms of pleasure over obligation.
I bet that statement shocked some of you. And, why is that? Perhaps because we’ve been so programmed to take care of obligations, whatever the cost, that we’ve forgotten to prioritize pleasure.. our own and the pleasure of others. That way of thinking will most likely not land us in what feels like a life worth living. However, if we shift, even just a bit, into more light and love we can come back to the joy that is life and play a little, a factor I find essential in creating a vibrant life.
So, how do you begin to cultivate this in your own life? First, take some time to think of a few things you’d really love to incorporate into your day, week, month, or year. While this may seem daunting at first I bet you already have a list a mile long that you just haven’t written down or consciously articulated. Then, challenge yourself to do one thing on that list THIS WEEK. Put it on your calendar, schedule an appointment, move funds around, tell a friend about it.. whatever it takes to get you started and help you follow through. Afterward, notice how you feel. What felt absolutely magnificent? What would you adjust? What were your fears? Did they happen? If so, how did you handle them? If not, what did that show you? Take some time to bask in the experience. Feel it completely. When the process of that experience is all wrapped up, what will you try next?!
It’s as simple as that. Yes, you may have some judgments to work through or a financial path to clear, but all of that is, as Marie Forleo would say, figureoutable. When we begin to clear space for our desires we make room for them to happen. Whether we’re energetically clearing old energy or taking actionable steps such as taking a few dollars from one area of our budget and putting it toward pleasure, we are purposely expanding the container for our bliss. This makes room for MORE! I know it may seem counterintuitive, especially if we’re struggling to find time and resources for basic needs. However, the laws of the universe offer us much more ease and abundance than we often realize. Accessing that support often feels far off, but if we tune in to our innermost desires, hold space, and take guided action, we will experience a life that has room for pleasure and bliss. Will you join me?
