Non-Attachment
Lately The Universe has been giving me lesson after lesson in non-attachment. If you aren’t familiar, non-attachment is the buddhist idea that we allow what is to be without holding on to a desired outcome, feeling, etc. We allow the present moment to flow through us. We feel our feelings… and release. We enjoy our things… and release. We take pleasure in life… and release. It’s the recognition that nothing is permanent and that we are who we are at our core regardless of outside circumstances.
So, how has this been appearing for me lately?For one, I’ve had to release some of my most cherished belongings after learning I was living in a mold infested home. While cleaning things out often offers me a sense of lightness and relief, being forced to let go of items before I felt ready did not have the same feeling. My wardrobe has become MUCH smaller. My beloved binders and books from my time at Antioch University are no longer with me. Even special gifts and treasures that I thought I would have with me always, now destroyed.
This theme has even been arising in my play and business ventures. That podcast I was set to re-launch in September - put on hold due to inexplicable technical problems. My monthly blog post, postponed this month due to life events. Even my idea of what I thought my family would look like - gone, or at least re-imagined.
Through it all I keep coming back to the teaching of non-attachment. That’s not to say I don’t ever feel sad or angry. I simply have a deep knowing that guides me back to calm and out of the distress. It’s putting this belief into practice that gives it life. The idea of non-attachment in itself is powerful. However, without purposely putting it to use, it is simply an idea in the ethers waiting to take form.
So, how exactly do I put this idea into practice. For me, it’s a three step approach.
Notice. When it feels hard to let something go I notice how I’m feeling. I take some time to just feel. I cry. I scream. I hit a pillow. Whatever I’m feeling I feel it fully. I wallow around in it for a bit. If I’m scared I feel all the fear. I allow myself to wonder.. What if I never get my podcast issue fixed? What if I carry mold to my new apartment? What if I don’t have the money to replace everything? What if I never get the kind of relationship I dream of? What if my vision for family is impossible? I notice and I feel. I go there.
Surrender. Once I’ve noticed my feelings and felt them fully I surrender to what is. This is happening. I stop resisting it and allow it to be. On a logical level this sounds easy because what else are we supposed to do other than allow what is to be? However, how often do we fight against what is, trying to change it, even if we know we can’t? For me surrender often looks like a big exhale, my muscles becoming less tense and more relaxed, and a settling into my body. It’s usually a shift from fight or flight (sympathetic tone) to rest and digest (parasympathetic tone).
Act. Now that I have surrendered to what is I can see more clearly what my next step will be. This is where alignment and action come into play. I am in alignment with what The Universe has given me and with my desires. From there, I can take empowered action and this action, from a place of personal empowerment, is a bridge to the next phase of my journey.
These steps have helped me practice non-attachment during a difficult time and assisted me in moving through change with more ease. While transitions can be off-centering and difficult, they are also a time when we can expand and grow into a new version of ourselves that feels even more alive than the last. The practice of non-attachment creates space for us to shed our old skin and step into the new.
So, what is The Universe beckoning you to let go of? Where can you practice more non-attachment in your life? Need guidance or support? Reach out. I’m only an email or social media message away!
