Internal Knowing
Most of my friends and followers have heard me talk about what I call internal knowing. It’s this place on the inside that we can access when we need direction and clarity. Our internal knowing is always right and is accessible to us at all times.
Right now, as Ohio begins to re-open, my sense is that my internal knowing will ease the transition pain. While I always use this as a decision making mechanism, lately I’ve been feeling even more strongly drawn to lean on my sense of internal knowing. While I haven’t felt directly fearful of COVID-19, moving from almost pure isolation to swarms of people in public can feel very overwhelming for me. So, while I want to re-integrate into a more connected life I know I must do it in a mindful way.
For me, this means I must access my internal knowing. It’s the best way I know to cut through the shit and get to the root of how I really feel. It’s also a sure fire way for me to know that I’m making the perfect decision for my journey. So, whatever the outcome, I know it was meant for me and my transformation. It’s also a great way for me to feel secure in my choices, which reduces my anxiety levels. So, how exactly do I access this place inside, known only to me?
It starts with a still quiet. I find it really hard to access my internal knowing in the midst of mind chatter. Since my brain loves letting me know how smart he is he rarely closes his mouth. This means I have to politely acknowledge him and ask for a few minutes where he will listen to the other parts of me. I usually thank the brain for all the knowledge it has gathered and appreciate how valuable that knowledge is. Then, I remind the brain that this decision I’m making can’t be made with pure logic. It’s much more complex than that and there are too many unknowns that we can’t evaluate or predict, at least in a timely manner. The brain is smart enough to know his limits, so he usually sees the value in other wisdom and agrees to listen.
At this point the heart usually chimes in. God love her, she just wants to live a full, beautiful life.. without any pain. Since my brain and belly know this is not possible (pain is part of the human experience) they patiently listen to her dreams and fears and then bring her comfort as I acknowledge her every yearning and concern. I find the brain/heart relationship an especially fascinating one. My experience has been that the brain is the masculine, logical and protective, while the heart is the feminine, desiring more. They make a great team when they work together!
Once my brain and heart have been heard I can usually drop down into the intuitive wisdom of my belly. This is where internal knowing resides. It feels much like a calm sea. There is stillness and vastness, sun dancing on my skin. Once there I ask the question. The answer to which will provide guidance to my seeking. I’ve used this technique for years. It has helped me navigate decisions both large and small and is especially helpful when anxiety is peaked. Trusting my internal sense of direction allows me to settle in and enjoy life rather than fear what may happen if I make the “wrong” decision. If I’ve checked in and followed her guidance, I know all will be well (whether comfortable or not).
Lately, because of the re-opening, many of my questions have revolved around what feels safe and healthy in the new normal. Crowds can up my anxiety and, being an empath, I can get overwhelmed to the point of panic when I’m in an environment full of chaos and fear (even if I personally am neither chaotic nor fearful). So, I get clear about how I want to feel. What are my intentions for venturing back out into the world? What kind of experience do I wish to have? Once I’ve captured that feeling I go inward and ask a question or two. “What decision will bring me that feeling I so desire? What option serves my highest good? Would something else feel better? Is this the decision for me?” I feel around, allowing new questions to emerge as I gain insight, until I am clear. When the answer comes it feels like a click. It’s as if a smile comes over my entire body. Yes, that’s it! I have my answer. Lately I’ve been asking my body things like when to go to the grocery, which restaurants to visit, and if having a friend over for a yard party is a good idea. It gives me peace of mind to know that my choices are guided and feel aligned. Having this knowing allows me to relax and enjoy the totality of my experience.
If this practice is new to you I invite you to start with something small - a low risk decision. Sometimes I even play with it by asking simple questions like if I should try ghee in my coffee instead of butter.. Anything to help me become more familiar with how internal knowing feels in the body. The more we practice the more confident we become in our ability to hear our own internal knowing. Transcending our fears and surface level desires to create the kind of life we dream of can be done, even in what may seem like the mundane. For me, it actually makes easy, daily tasks feel a bit more magical to know I have chosen them with consciousness. And, living a full, vibrant life is what Contradiction Queen is all about! Knowing I’m at the grocery or a particular restaurant at the exact perfect moment opens a new portal for me. Of course I experience this all the time anyway, we all do. However, intentionally focusing on it and co-creating our experience with the universe is a pretty rad concept and I invite you to join me! If this concept sparks curiosity in you maybe begin playing with the idea. It’s fun!
My hope is that this post added a little more magic to your life. I’d love to hear about how you practice listening to your internal knowing and the ways it has changed your life. Drop me a line or connect on social media if you’d like to share. XOXO ~Amanda
