For years I have been doing my work… reading books, going to therapy, taking time for inward reflection, showing up, and the more work I do the more I realize my work is never done. Sometimes it’s tiring being so conscious. Being awake can be painful, overwhelming, infuriating. The work seems to go on and on. However, what I am remembering is that the work is not meant to be hard or weighted. The work is meant to be enlightening, that is in the light. It is meant to lighten our load.

When I think of it that way difficultly is far gone. To be in the light is to be free, illuminated, covered in luxurious warmth. It is to reflect a glow. To spin under the brightness of the sun. To see. Clarity.

So then, how do we show up in this way as we do our work? Here are my thoughts on what it means to do our work and how we can make room for a little more sun along the way:

Doing our work means showing up, remaining present, and getting our ass in the arena. Taking this on with an attitude of gratitude can make all the difference. Celebrate your effort and invite some fun in.. maybe even laugh at yourself when you throw a ridiculous punch or trip over your own feet.
Doing our work means casting our pride aside and seeking help from qualified professionals to gain the necessary tools for growing into more whole and evolved versions of ourselves. Find someone you enjoy working with and it will feel more like a coffee date with a friend than “work.” I know this from my own experience as both health coach and client. Enjoy the ride!
Doing our work means facing our inner demons and taking them on with bravery. It can feel scary uncovering childhood or tribal wounds. Sometimes giving the other the benefit of the doubt can go a long way. Forgiveness can lighten our load and often begins with the recognition that “hurt people hurt people.’ That is, people do the best they can given their own knowing. It’s likely they too had trauma in their life and that trauma was played out on you. As terrible as that may have been, offering compassion can help us release, even just a little. AND, doing your work (tip #2) can help ensure you don’t inflict your pain on another. Stop the cycle!
Doing our work means appropriately naming our shame as such and making the conscious choice to understand and undo its binds. Brené Brown’s book “Daring Greatly” helped me unravel this one. Shame runs deep and is often at the root of self torture. Yes, it can be scary to dismantle our shame, but once we go there we can often see how little help the stories we’ve told ourselves our offering us today. Those ahas are a big ol’ ray of sunshine!
Doing our work means becoming more intimate with our inner selves and eventually those around us. In my opinion I saved the best for last. Our relationship with others can only be as strong as our relationship with ourselves. The more we understand ourselves (what makes us tick, what sets us off, what ignites our shame, what brings us joy, how we behave when we’re afraid, what we desire in life, where our true worth is derived, etc) the more consciously aware we become when engaging with the other. This new awareness literally lightens our load. We become less worrisome about what the other is thinking. That’s their business. Our projections become less frequent, strengthening the bond between ourselves and our loved ones. And, maybe most importantly, we start actually liking ourselves. Imagine how much lighter life would feel without that nagging voice in your head. Imagine the relationships you could create.

I believe as we do this work and learn to engage ourselves differently we will begin to feel the warmth of the light. I like to think the act of practicing is how the metaphorical sun begins to peak through the clouds of darkness and despair, eventually burning them off completely. We won’t get it perfect every time. That’s okay. This is why we call it practice. Just get back in the arena and try again!

See, when we get down to it, the work is really about honesty. Integrity. Truthfulness. Are we in alignment with the deepest, most connected part of our Self? Are we embodying our experience, our truth? Are we showing up?

Finally, I want to offer an exercise that can help us get back in our bodies and connect to our power. Whether seated or standing place both feet flat on the floor. Close your eyes. Feel your body. Now, take up space. Embody yourself. Grow taller. Sit or stand straighter. Feel your essence. Connect with your power, your true nature, your Self. Notice how far you emanate outside your physical body. Now, feel how that feels. Feel how you feel. That is the powerful, connected you. Let a gentle smile cross your face. Feel your presence in the room, your feet on the floor. Finally, bat your eyes open and carry this feeling with you throughout your days.

When you feel lost, come back to this. When you don’t want to tell your truth, gain the strength from this. It will be your guide. Allow it. When you want to flee from yourself (this is when we often begin focusing on the other, lashing out, or perhaps even shrinking into our turtle shell), remain engaged and practice coming back to your self, your truth. Move, speak, walk, engage from this space - the connected you.

Comment on this post or my social media feeds to let me know how this post resonated with you. You’ve got this! Big love and if you need support, I’m here.